Mama Knows Best: Knowledge and Motherhood

Remember when you were about to become a parent for the first time? The excitement, the uncertainty? When I was pregnant with my oldest son, I remember reading every book and article I could get my hands on. I wanted as much knowledge as possible.

Reading so much about babies, sleep training, breastfeeding, and child rearing gave me a feeling of security and control. (Ha!) Fast forward eight years. I have two kids now, and I am a big believer in the classic saying “kids don’t come with a handbook”. Motherhood stretches us in ways we could have never imagined.

Whatever your journey with parenting has been, raising children teaches us so much about the interplay between intuition, earned wisdom, emotional intelligence, and formal education. Good news–you don’t have to be a master at everything! Any knowledge we take on as mothers strengthens us, our families, and our communities. We hope this edition of the Momni blog will help you reflect on how much you already know and provide some ideas around how you can increase your knowledge.

Types of Knowledge Intuitive Knowledge Intuition takes many forms. Some people feel a gut instinct. Others notice a lingering thought or feeling they simply cannot shake. Sometimes, intuition is so intense we can almost feel our subconscious, intuitive mind speaking to us.

Others may feel disconnected from their intuition and uncertain how to reclaim their mama bear instincts. Whatever your current relationship to intuition, think of this as a powerful knowledge you can tap into when you feel uncertain or anxious. It takes practice to discern intuition from anxiety. To hone your intuition and practice trusting your instincts, try some of these tips : Slow down and allow for stillness in your daily life.

Even five minutes of quiet will help you tap into your intuitive knowledge Pay attention to your body and your five senses . Are you contracting or expanding when you think of different things? Does your body get antsy? Excited?

Peaceful? Feel, don’t think. Society often encourages us to constantly move toward logic. Notice how your feelings might guide you differently and don’t be afraid to speak up when something feels off.

Earned Wisdom Motherhood is a wisdom accelerator. Nothing will teach you faster than experience, and parenting provides experience in spades! Some parents find themselves learning about topics they never imagined becoming experts in–infertility, adoption, and each child’s unique needs, to name a few. Whatever your circumstances are, take a moment to acknowledge and honor your journey and your wisdom.

Try this activity to reflect on your own wisdom: Make a list of the five biggest challenges you have faced as a parent. Leave room between each challenge as you list them out. Under each challenge, write three things you have learned as a result. This can include tidbits of wisdom, life skills, or something you learned more formally.

Share your list and your wisdom! Have a discussion at your next Momni circle, book club, or playdate about some of the knowledge you have picked up along the way. Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence is defined as the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. As a mama, odds are that you are your child’s first support as they navigate the emotional landscape of their inner and outer world.

The same skills you strive to teach your child can support you as you seek to enhance your own emotional intelligence. Here are few things we often say to children that are great tips for adults as well! Name your emotions: Pausing to reflect and name what emotion is bubbling is a great exercise for people of all ages to cultivate self awareness. Ask yourself what you are feeling and why you are feeling it.

How would you feel if your brother/sister/classmate did that to you? This is often one of the first reflection questions we ask children when they wrong another person or do something that could harm someone else. How do your own actions line up with this reflection? Don’t hit!

Don’t yell! Take a deep breath! When someone wrongs us, emotional intelligence is the skill set that helps us create some space before we react. While it can be hard to manage your reaction every time, the more you practice, the easier it will become.

Force yourself to take five deep breaths or repeat an uplifting mantra in your mind five times before you respond to emotional situations. Formal Education At Momni, we promote the role of education to improve the experience of motherhood, the outcomes of childhood and the advancement of society. I was so inspired when I came across the story of Briana Williams, a single mother who graduated from law school after becoming pregnant in her final year.

She shared her story on an Instagram post that went viral after her graduation. (Get your tissues ready–it is such a sweet tribute to her daughter!) (Photo: Provided by Briana Williams through USA Today) When asked to give advice to other parents in her situation, Briana has this to say: “Try as hard as you can to do what you have to do…Eventually you’re going to receive the glory from that. And not only that, your child is going to be even more appreciative of you and the sacrifices you made.” Briana is a great example to her daughter, and an inspiration for all of us that have to make hard decisions and do hard things everyday.

As mothers, our children learn by what they see us doing. When they see us taking time and making sacrifices to learn new things, they may be inspired to take on big challenges themselves. Rather than feeling guilty or worried about how your children may respond to the time you invest in your education, allow them to be the inspiration that drives you forward and pulls you higher. A better life for you is a better life for them too.

Knowledge and Community As humans and parents, we all have unique gifts, traits, skills and knowledge. If you aren’t sure what yours are, try this: Ask the people closest to you to share how they see you! What do people ask you for advice about?–most of us call the “expert” in our lives when we need help Reflect on the types of books, movies, social media, and activities you are drawn to. Often, our interests line up with what we know, want to know, or have an innate ability to do.

It is powerful and important for each of us to own and share the knowledge and gifts we have. Our communities strengthen us because they provide support and resources we wouldn’t have without them. Book clubs, meetup groups, school committees, Momni Circles, study groups and other parent groups are great places to seek and share knowledge. What have you learned from your communities?

Email us at support@momni.com .